"Presence is more than just being there." ~ Unknown

Monday made for a tough start to the week. I knew it was going to be tough when I started crying Sunday night before bed. I didn't want the morning to come because that meant going back to work; which also meant dropping Sophia off at daycare.
boo :(

I wasn't worried about going back. I knew that Sherlane and Christina would take great care of her. For as long as I can remember growing up on Oakwood Dr. They have been our neighbors! Christina, Carly, myself and a few other neighborhood girls grew up together. We were the classic American neighborhood; Fourth of July block parties, riding bikes 'around the block' countless times... (this was way back when it was NOT ok to ride in the street and we HAD to wear our helmets!), we had sleep overs, spent summer days swimming in the good ol' doughboy pool, thought we were SO COOL listening to New Kids on the Block, I thought Christina was the best when she invited me to her birthday party with all her "older" friends (it was really only a 1-2 year difference) and we got to sleep out in the tents in her backyard...the memories just keep coming...needless to say, they are nowhere near strangers to me, or our family. So I wasn't worried at all. So why was I crying? I felt sad and guilty. And I still do.

I was sad leaving my little girl. I was sad that she would wake up with someone else, that she would make her little noises for someone else, that she would smile at someone else, and fall asleep in someone else's arms, (And you know you're a mom when, as much as I despise it, I wanted to be the one changing every diaper and every outfit she spit up on...)I just wanted it to be me.

So we arrived at Sherlane's and I was trying to be strong, but the minute we stepped inside, reality hit. I had to leave Sophia. I started balling. Sherlane was so sweet, she gave me a big hug and just kept reminding me that it's all about time. And that it doesn't matter how much time we spend together, it's about the quality of time that we spend together. I just kept reminding myself that really it would not be that bad, and that really, I have the best profession to allow for more momma time, and that really I had an easy week ahead of me...Monday through Thursday and then Spring Break. I kept thinking about how much worse it could have been if I was leaving her with a stranger. But I wasn't and at least I had that on my side!

So, I cried myself to school. But I have to say, being met at my classroom door with smiling faces, students excited to have me back, and countless hugs made the morning more tolerable. I had yard duty (yeah, Welcome Back!) and every single student ran to me and gave me the biggest hug before our school bell even rang! Our morning might not have been the most productive, but it was positive and that was what we needed to get back into the swing of things! The kids asked hundreds of questions and wanted to see pictures, so I spent the bulk of the morning talking about our little Love-Bug.

But I have to tell you, the best feeling of all was walking into Sherlane's and picking up our little Sophia. She seemed so small after spending my day with 6 and 7 year olds. And she was still a little perfect package; exactly as I had left her. Protected, safe, and well-loved. Of course she generated a load of laundry in one day...but no complaints here!

The rest of the week went off without a hitch. It was still sad to leave each morning; but the tears subsided. We survived our first week! And now it's time for Spring Break! Another week with my sweetie-pie! Pictures will be up soon!

Changes in perspective

Going back to work. blah. As much as I love my job, at the moment I am having a really hard time getting motivated to go back. I don't want to spend the time on the lessons, or the grading, or the organizing, or preparations. Every second seems so much more valuable now. Though I know the work I put towards school is important, and that 26 kids are counting on me, 1 precious little girl is counting on me at home. And that is a million times more important to me right now. But it's a responsibility I must fulfill, and I start back on Monday.

When I was 30 weeks pregnant, finishing up the last 10 weeks felt like an eternity. We waited and waited and when I think back to those weeks, nothing major stands out. We were ready for our new addition and just had to wait. But now, at 10 weeks old, the time seems to have flown by.

Thinking back on these 10 weeks however, everything seems like a major event! We became a family of 3. We survived our second night with a baby despite the ear-piercing screams. We learned that when our little girl was crying and crying that there was a reason...for Sophia is usually means she is hungry or has a wet diaper. We have figured out what makes her tick. She is a happy baby, most of the time! She loves to lie on her changing table and look at the ceiling fan. She has the most beautiful smile when she wakes up in the morning. She can make your ears ring with her screams. She loves to be held and patted as she falls asleep. She loves sitting in her warm bath, but hates being taken out of it. We've learned that we can function after sleepless nights. We've become accustomed to the fact that we will probably not eat a meal together for quite some time - except when we are blessed enough to have our family watch her and we can go out!!! She is a great traveler. I can take a shower by putting her in her bouncer seat. She loves to watch the bear mobile in her pack-n-play, and she often coos up at them. She pretty much lets anyone hold her. When she wakes up, it's eating time...no messing around! She can generate a load of laundry by herself EVERY day! And this is just the beginning...

Perspective changes everything. Time is different. Priorities are different. Family is different. Life is different. But all for the better. I could never have imagined how life would be after Sophia. As ready as we were, we had no idea. The journey continues to teach us something new about ourselves, about each other, and about Sophia, every day. And for me, the journey is taking a major change on Monday. But I know that I'll get through it, probably not with dry eyes, but I'll get through it...


Sophia looking serious as she tries to wake up!

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. ~Wilson Mizener

Or for Matthew at least 30 minutes of hitting the Snooze!

So, for those of you who know Matthew well, you know he has nasal problems. And sometimes the word "problems" doesn't really begin to describe his discomfort. He has what seems to be allergies all year. Yes, all year. It doesn't matter if flowers or trees are blooming. It can be freezing out, rain soaking the air and he is still dripping, yet not from the rain! It can be downright hot and dry and yet he is still dripping...constantly. But the nasal problems don't stop there.

There are problems with sleep too. Now, one might be quick to judge and say that of course there are going to be sleep problems, we have a baby in the house. But let me assure you, these problems started LONG before Sophia. For as long as Matthew and I have been married he has been the Loudest snorer ever. And to say that it is worse than my parents is saying a lot! (Sorry mom and dad, but it is true!) His snoring is so loud that I often move to the office to get some peace and quiet.

So between waking up with our little Sophia at night and trying to sleep with the log-saw-er I share a bed with, I finally convinced Matthew to see a specialist. We spoke with him tonight and he is certain that Matthew has severe allergies and sleep apnea. He wants to do some allergy testing, but obviously we want to wait until the allergy season is over to get an accurate test. But the part I am most interested in is the sleep test. Matthew will be staying overnight in their Sleep Lab to take part in a sleep test. During the test they will monitor his deep sleep, breathing, his heart rate, his blood pressure, etc. The Dr. described how sleep apnea effects the brain and it was so interesting. The apnea can often cause pauses in breathing due to the tongue blocking the air way. But the brain is so smart, (thank God for this amazing organ), that it never really rests for a person with apnea, instead, it works overtime making sure that you wake up and breathe again. Hence the high blood pressure, the headaches, the need to hit snooze about a zillion times before getting out of bed.

After recommending this test, we were given a tour of their Sleep Lab. If you were blind folded and brought into these rooms, you would never guess that you were in a place of business. The rooms have been set up exactly as a bedroom at home would be. The beds are big and so soft, and look just like staying at a friend's. To be honest, I looked at the room and thought to myself, "Oh, how I would love a night here. No interruptions, no crying baby, no snoring!" But I know Matthew and how difficult it is for him to sleep somewhere other than home. So keep him in your prayers. We're hoping to get some answers, and some relief!

2 Months!

2 Months old and smiling for the camera

Can you believe it? Sophia is 2 months already! At her doctor's apt today she weighed in at:10lbs and 11oz. and she measured: 23inches long. She's definitely growing!

She also had her series of 2 month shots today :( She cried a lot before falling asleep for her nap. I felt like such a "bad guy" for bringing her to the doctor to get poked 3 times! :(

Shot spot :( Poor baby

I can't believe that 2 months have passed. Some days I look at her and think, "2 months! She's already losing the newborn look." but most days I look at her in disbelief. I still can not believe that we have been blessed with such a beautiful little girl. And then my heart breaks thinking about going back to work. (Even though I know she will be in great hands!)

I know that I have it much better than a lot of working moms. Matthew has been working so hard so that I could take an extra month off. I am one lucky lady, and I know that. I love him so much for making that sacrifice and NEVER once complaining about it. I also know that I am in the perfect field for maximizing time with my little miracle. I will go back to work for one week, get Spring Break off, and then go back for 2 months. That's just as much time that has passed since she came into our lives! I can do this!

Thinking about work has been bittersweet lately. On the one hand, I miss the adult interaction, but on the other, I have not been there since mid-December, so I have been missing out on all of the budget talks-which is nice. However, I got my pink slip today. So even though working in the field of education is a blessing for maximizing my "momma time"throughout the year, it's stressful to go into summer not knowing what my job future looks like...Keep us in your prayers!

But, instead of worrying too much, I am enjoying every second I have at home. Most days I spend with our little one are much like the video below! In 2 short months, Sophia has begun smiling and interacting with us! She recently discovered her hands and has been chewing on them ever since! Enjoy our little girl!

Test for updates

Matt and I have been trying to find a way to let all of our family and friends know about our newest blog posts.

We tried several different options that the web provides and they seem to have a glitch...well, really, I have a glitch! Technology is not my strongest point...anyways, it seems that the only way to keep up on our latest news is to check regularly!

I try my best to get the latest news and events on here on a 2-3 week basis...So possibly the easiest thing you can do is bookmark our blog on your favorites and check it periodically.

http://taylormademks.blogspot.com/

Thank you all for following our adventures in parenthood! We look forward to seeing your comments!

"We do not remember days; we remember moments. " -unknown

This weekend we took Sophia on her biggest adventure yet! We took a road trip! Yep 7 weeks into the "New Parenting Adventure" and we decided to give it a go! Eureka or bust!

Grandma & Grandpa's House

2725 H Street
Eureka, CA

Memories from 2725 H Street
With Grandma and Grandpa's house going on the market this past Monday I really wanted to get up there one more time. The house holds so many memories for me...
Christmas Memories
Christmas mornings waiting in the back bedroom, wanting to get up and see what Santa had brought us...dolls with strollers, the must-have roller blades, Carly's first two-wheel bike! Christmas dinners with all of the family as we got older, getting into mischief with the cousins as we refilled our "sodas!" It all seems so long ago.
Summer Memories
Days spent picking blackberries and raspberries in the yard, helping Gramps dig up potatoes for dinner, or snapping peas with Grandma at the picnic table. Memories of waking up to the smell of popovers and bacon, Grandma loved to feed us in the morning. Memories of not being able to fall asleep with the sound of busy H Street outside the window, and my sister hogging the bed! Memories of morning walks to Henderson Center to get a fresh loaf of bread from the bakery, or Grandpa's favorite treat - danish rolls!

Such great times, and though she is too young to remember it now, I wanted to bring Sophia up, take pictures and relive it one more time, so someday Sophia will know she had a part in those experiences too.

Friday
Friday morning brought what seemed like a major Hissy-Fit, and I toyed with the idea of staying home...Afterall, a 5-hour carride with a crying baby did not sound appealing. However, Matthew had the Magic-Touch and calmed her right down. We made sure we changed her, fed her and we were off! Sophia fell asleep before we reached Colusa and slept contently most of the way. We made one stop for a change, and a feeding and were back on the road!

Sophia sleeping in the back of the car!

Matt and I wanted to take Sophia to the redwoods. So we stopped in Phillipsville at our usual walking spot, put on the "Baby Backpack" and slipped Sophia in. She did a great job as we bundled her up and walked around the woods. And it felt great to stretch our legs after the long ride. Sophia in her Baby Bjorn carrier!

(We LOVE this thing!)

Sophia and Matt next to the stump of a giant redwood tree!

Saturday
Saturday was packed with plans! First thing Saturday morning we visited the cemetery. It breaks my heart to not have Grandma and Grandpa here to meet Sophia. I know that they would have just LOVED her. The weather was perfect on Saturday and we got an awesome, sunny view of the bay as we stood and I shared the fun memories I had with Matthew and Sophia.

Next, we strolled around Old Town enjoying the Harbor and the beautiful weather.

Old Town, Eureka

We wanted to grab lunch, and both thought that pizza sounded good! I always remember Aunt Pam and Uncle Bill taking Carly and I to this cute little pizza place when we stayed with them! It was always a treat to get pizza from Babe's...so that's where we went for an early lunch!



Then we headed to Trinidad. Sophia's first trip to the beach. I remember so many times going with Aunt Char & Erin early in the morning to look for tide pools, or with Aunt Pam to look for sand dollars and agates, so it was only fitting that Sophia got her first trip to the beach this weekend! The beaches were packed with families and dogs! Everyone was out enjoying the beautiful weather! Sophia enjoyed the sound of the ocean so much she fell right asleep!

Little River State Beach

From the beach we headed up to Aunt Char and Uncle Jim's house for dinner! It was so nice to have time to get caught up and spend time with them! Dinner was delicious and Sophia did an awesome job...Matt and I were able to enjoy (most of) our delicious dinner with two hands as Sophia took in the sounds and smells! Something that doesn't happen too much anymore!

Sunday
Sunday we packed up, and made our first stop at Aunt Pam and Uncle Bill's in Miranda. We couldn't possibly leave without Sophia meeting her Great Uncle Bill and enjoying a tasty popover breakfast! Aunt Pam spoiled us and made breakfast just the way Grandma did ~ Popovers, scrambled eggs, and bacon! Yum! After a nice visit and a full stomach we hit the road again.

Popovers!

Sophia, ready to head home!

The trip home was just as calm and easy as the trip up! Our newest little traveler did an awesome job and boosted our trip-taking confidence! Though it just wasn't the same without Gramps and Grandma, the house looked great, and I was glad to have been able to take Sophia so that someday she will understand the traditions and good times that were had in that house!